A message from the past
Have you ever looked at a person ( maybe an old acquaintance ) with a kind of face and expression, that you've wondered about their story; what feelings, circumstances, or hardships carved those permanent grimaces, wrinkles, repetitive facial ticks, automatic responses?
And how people mature, age and change differently?
The forces of light and darkness wage a constant battle for the minds of mankind, and if we're not constantly aware, and awake, our mind, body and soul get corrupted as we age, by temptations, desires, hungers, fears...
It's good to do a check-up every so often, to make sure you haven't strayed too far away from the path that you chose for yourself when you were a bit younger, more innocent -perhaps naive, yes, but still... the heart is pure when it's not burdened by responsibilities, or outsider programming-you know-by family, society, media, etc.
What do YOU want?
I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want from this life.
Truly , what's my driver, what makes me happy, and the ultimate life goal.
There's so much information in the world today, so many things have to get done, so many roles to play...I get confused daily if I don't take the time to write things down!
While I've been streaming from creative realms since I can remember- and I thought THAT's what I truly want, to spread my worthy message, or cover the Earth with color, to enlighten myself and others, to follow my passions and get paid for it.
But something's always missing... whenever I've reached a goal, I throw that stick further, never to fully arrive...when will I finally say- I am complete?...
And I fear all this hoping for greatness, and shirking away from pain, takes its toll on my body, mind, and soul.
And then the letter
I was talking to my mom yesterday, and she told me how sometimes she reads ( to other people!) this wisdom-filled letter that I sent to her when I first arrived to the States, 14 years ago, all by myself- well, a bunch of us arrived together, but then we had to travel to our appropriate employers all over the place. And some of us were luckier than others, but it was certainly not the pot of gold that we were promised when we embarked on this Work & Travel journey. Little did we know: travel here and then it's all work, baby!
I don't remember writing it, but it does sound like something me.
But anyway, at 22 I had words of wisdom to share with my much-impatient, bank-indebted, anxious mom, who was trying to micro-manage my situation from thousand of miles away, and I think I had had quite enough of her inquiries, and anxiety-driven thoughts, that I wrote this.
Perhaps it was supposed to be a letter to my older self, because it hits home right now...
" (...) Know this; I am well and safe, unlike others, who are paid less, and have expenses on top.
So don't fret so much, they will be OK as well; they have the same life to live; just because they have a different situation doesn't make them unhappy.
Happiness doesn't consist of only getting what you wish for; wishes will never end, and their satisfaction will never be complete, because man is a bottomless hole, a craving that is forever unsatisfied.
I don't want my desires to overwhelm( rule) my life, to be my reason for unhappiness, I want to be happy with what I am, and to have a serene life regardless of what's around me, on me, or in me.
If you know: "Omnia mea mecum porto"- i.e. 'All that is mine I carry with me"
Worrying only troubles the soul."
Laura , 2006
Will you won't you join the dance
I bow to my 22 year-old self, she was wise.
I've carried this wisdom within me throughout the years, but I feel that as a "responsible" adult trying to make a living- it gets buried way too often...by worries, habits and plans...
I do try though...
To return home- to my self- as often as I can, everyday, just to stay sane and maintain truth, and a bigger picture, in my life.
My place , m responsibility, my limitations, and also my infinite potential.
Trying to be all-mighty in this threedimensional world is foolishness, but don't forget that the real you lives in a more powerful realm.
I make sure to abide there everyday.
Otherwise, we get boggled by the interminable ebb and flow of life, this constant theater act.
Do yourself a favor and take that mask off sometimes.
But I wanted to share this, and a movie that I want you to check out, as it speaks exactly about the dangers of forgetting your truest, deep values. And the corruption that ensues with fears, greed and the addiction to social status and success...
Watch it, it's called "INK" - a magical, independent film about the constant battle of the forces of light and dark. And let me know what you think, if you've watched it.
In the meantime...
A valiant reminder to stay true to you.
Trust the flow, and listen to your soul.